I've always found this apparently unavoidable dichotomy a little ridiculous.
It seems to me the sensible thing to do is both. Tell teens they should avoid having sex if only to avoid the very real threat of pregnancy and sexually transmitted disease, and at the same time, inform them about effective birth control methods because a good number of teenagers are going to have sex anyway despite anything we do or say. Further, don't demonize those who want to wait for marriage, and don't demonize those who find waiting for marriage antiquated.
Once they get to college, or at least out of the halls of our high schools, let them do whatever the hell they want, just as we do now.
I agree with your point, but I don't think you framed the policy dispute fairly. It's a debate between those who advocate for promoting abstinence for teens and safe sex as a last resort and those who only advocate abstinence because they believe teaching safe sex is implicitly encouraging sex.
ReplyDeleteAnd I don't know anyone who is demonizing people who wait for marriage. I'm sure there's a sort of amorphous societal pressure to have sex that these people experience, not to mention the pressure from their own hormones, but I don't think that's the fault of safe-sex advocates.
But, again, I agree that we should teach both.
A victim of trying to be pithy, I suppose. In framing the issue, I wasn't trying to take sides or weigh in favor of one or the other. I was just saying why can't we do both, which I wholly acknowledge we're in agreement.
ReplyDeleteI understand completely that there are those who are absolutist when it comes to sex education - that being just teach abstinence. Though, I would argue that of those individuals, a number of them disagree with teaching safe sex in schools because they believe they (the parents) should be the one's teaching their kids about safe sex, not the schools. But, the problem with that is, some of those parents never actually do it, or they do a shoddy job for whatever reason.
And, I would also argue there are absolutist on the other side as well, those who say that by essentially preaching abstinence we are repressing our children and damaging their natural growth and pushing some kind of puritanical mindset on them.
As for people disagreeing with those waiting for marriage or those disagreeing with individuals who don't, I was being slightly snide in using the word "demonizing." Nonetheless, we have seen much ridicule thrown the way of those who desire "to stay pure," just see the Jonas Brothers and those purity rings (I think that's what they called them).
I agree with you, I don't think when children have sex the blame falls on safe sex advocates. I would argue that most teens have sex because they are curious and just want to have sex. Because that's what our bodies are pushing us to do. Plain and simple.
As a final point, because it keeps buzzing in the back of my ear, I want to just say for completeness, everything discussed here is in reference to mutual sexual acts.
It's always about the Jonas Brothers with you...
ReplyDelete