There are demons trapped in your skull

If we kept people locked up in asylums, as I have advocated, this sort of thing wouldn't happen.

EDIT: I volunteer to be the Asylum Czar.

Blunt: "You have to play the ball where the monkey throws it"

If you're trying to convince people President Carter is crazy for calling you a racist, you probably shouldn't tell a joke like this. In fact, I would avoid references to monkeys altogether, but that's just me.

Poles to Neocons: Thanks, but no thanks.

Because you can never have too much ire directed at neocons.

The Liberal Media

I just got my Time magazine in the mail with Glenn Beck on the cover. Huzzah!

"The Audacity of Hos"

Awards Are Meaningless

It says a lot about the emmys, and Hollywood award shows in general, that "Family Guy" is nominated for best comedy series when it is in the throws of decline, yet "The Simpsons" was never nominated, even during the early 90s.

I can't wait for "The Cleveland Show." If there's one thing I'm always looking for when I watch "Family Guy," it's more Cleveland. Maybe that can win an emmy!

Idiot: David Barton

It's hard to fight the good fight with idiots like David Barton walking around. But then again, there are idiots on the other side as well, just see Max Baucus , or maybe that neo-marxist Van Jones guy (however lauded he is, he's a moron), or the much loved, turned toxic, Acorn.

Father of Worst Foreign Policy Philosophy in History Dies

Upon hearing about the death of Irving Kristol it's important to reflect upon the complete and utter failure of neoconservatism. Whatever a neoconservative says to do, you should do the opposite. It is that simple. This is one of the many reasons why Obama's decision to scrap the long-range missile defense system in Poland and the Czech Republic is correct.

Baseball: The Washington Nationals

At the moment, there is no team in worse shape in major league baseball than the Washington Nationals. They are in last place in the NL East and have the fewest wins in either the AL or NL. How many wins? 50. How many losses? 96. How many games are in a regular MLB season? 162. It is so bad that on the Nat's home page they don't even have their standing listed. Why? Because it's embarassing. Now, this could be about the Pittburg Pirates who have an almost as abysmal record at 55 and 89 and also don't list their standing, but it's not.

After kicking off the regular season in April racking up 16 losses - including their home opener on April 13, and only garnering 5 wins, it was not looking good. Then, as April drew on, Zimmerman and Dunn's jerseys had the team name spelled wrong: "Natinals." A harbinger for a terrible season for the team as a collective.

But, they pressed on. Pressed on to May and dropped 20 and picked up 9 wins. Then June: 9 wins, 17 losses. July: 10 wins, 18 losses. And, just as all hope seemed lost, the team started out August winning 8 of 9 games straight. They ended the month with what would have been an adequate record, if it wern't for the rest of the seaon, going 14 and 14.

As September closes, 16 games remain in regular play. The Nats, even if hell froze over, have no playoff to attend, are going to have a lot of time on their hands until spring training. They have a lot of instrospection to do. Because, unfortunately, they suck - hard.

Saint Carrie of Orange County

The only person I dislike more than Perez Hilton is Carrie Prejean. I don't fault Prejean for saying what she believed. She was asked a question and tried to delicately state her belief in "opposite marriage" without offending people. She got the question wrong but maybe that's why the founders decided we'd be ruled by elected representatives and not beauty queens.

That being said, I think it's about time for her to step down off her cross. At the "Values" Voters summit today she said "God has a bigger crown for me in heaven." I have two issues with this:

1. I'm not an expert on Christian theology, but do you get a crown when you go to heaven? Does the Bible say it's a particularly big crown? How do we know it's bigger than a tiara?

2. Carrie Prejean needs to realize she's not Joan of Arc. She didn't face any kind of hardship for what she said. You can say she would have won the pageant had she answered differently, but that's speculation. Some people said some mean things about her on the teevee and the intertoobs, but she was also invited on every right wing television and radio show imaginable. She was stripped of her Miss California title, but that was only because she insisted on dragging out the controversy and doing political events.

And let us not forget, the pageant paid for her boob job. I think things worked out just fine for her.

A little comparison for thought. Conclusion: They're all nuts.

A lot of rancor over what's going down at tea parties. But it all looks awfully familiar to me.

Here we are today...




Now, let's jump back just a little bit...






Just saying is all.

Each one is a little different!

Sometimes I hate this stupid country.

This weekend at the picture show

I see that today America will be given the gift of a new lesbian-vampire-in-high-school motion picture, Jennifer's Body. Not only that, but this particular lezzy vampire movie stars Megan Fox, who my grandchildren inform me is quite the pinup at the moment. I have to admit I'm intrigued.

People should be able to smoke outside

The widespread contempt people have for smoking and smokers never ceases to amaze me, but I thought this story was somewhat encouraging. Maybe people will step back from the precipice and realize that banning smoking in parks goes way too far, or maybe it wont make a difference. I personally believe people should be able to smoke anywhere, if only to make it smell like the 194os, but I'm the only person I've encountered who feels that way.

Never Fear.

Dear Libruls,

Du calme, du calme...

Love,
Max Baucus


Did that do it for you??...yeah, me neither....

Who gave this woman a degree?

Camille Paglia is an idiot

Daily Sigur Rós

This is going to be a regular feature, because all you people need to calm down and have your daily Sigur Rós:

Expect much of the same. If you are not happy about this, you are an idiot. Move along...

I can't disagree with this headline from the New York Times:

New Missile Strategy Scales Back an '80s Vision

I should be president.

David Brooks went to a BBQ...so everything's ok.

Don't worry everybody, the teabaggers aren't racists because David Brooks says so. You see, he stumbled upon a BBQ where teabaggers were intermingling with black folk, and they didn't break their whips out and beat them mercilessly. You see, this is just the latest iteration of populous rage that finds it's way back to Andrew Jackson!

You see, this:

is Jacksonian democracy. All of these people are just expressing their rage at "government spending" and "deficits." Nevermind that those two things trace their modern roots back to George W. Bush, who inherited a surplus. They're just so mad at these deficits! Isn't that obvious from the signs!

David Brooks is an idiot.

EDIT: Apparently, Jim Sleeper at the Washington Post feels similarly. My argument to him would be along the same lines as the aforementioned. This paranoia of government spending was non-existant until January 20, 2009. Hmmm...what changed? Beats me?! The war in Iraq was the most pointless government program ever, yet it enjoys the widespread support of conservatives. Healthcare...not so much. It seems that everyone agrees that "something needs to be done..." but when you ask conservatives, they don't really know what that "something" is, but it is not, NOT, a government run public option! That's for DAMN sure!

In Defense of Kanye

There's been a lot written about the Taylor Swift-Kanye West incident, but I feel as though something important has gotten lost in the hubabaloo. That thing is how truly terrible Taylor Swift's music is. Have we, as a society, decided we're not going to provide sanctions for writing terrible, bland music?

Let's consider the song "Love Story." It is my belief that the basest, most stupid reaction one can have to a great work of art is to ask oneself "what would I have done in a similar situation?" This is a permissible reaction when watching a horror movie and saying "I wouldn't go through that door!" or when watching a romantic comedy and thinking "I wouldn't take him back!" However, I don't think this is an acceptable reaction to Shakespeare. Entertaining these kinds of thoughts shows that you haven't understood a single thing. You have no appreciation for the writer's craft and a no appreciation for why Shakespeare chose to shape his play the way he did. You are so self-centered the only thought you can entertain is how you, southern white dumbass, would have behaved in a similar situation in Renaissance Italy.

This is exactly the type of reaction that "Love Story" glorifies. This is wrong. I am aware that Taylor (btw, Taylor is the stupidest first name dreamt up by man) is fairly young and she won her VMA for a different song, but that doesn't erase her sins.

Now let us consider Kanye. He has explored different avenues in his music, and embraced very unconventional influences for a conventional hip hop musician, such as synth-pop and indie music. Large though his ego may be, he has tried to be something more than a piece of crap musically. Taylor Swift, not so much.

To close, I don't mean to imply that Kanye has the right to interrupt people willy-nilly, but I do mean to imply that Taylor Swift is not worthy of our sympathy. Her success is a sign of the atrophy of the American music scene. Once upon a time we looked to politicians for decorum, and rock stars for obnoxious antics. Now apparently we are willing to tolerate teabaggers in congress, but can't abide a Kanye West sullying the dignity of the VMAs, if only to put a no-talent hack in her place before she wreaks further havoc upon the earth.

What Kanye did was rude, but the end of shutting Taylor Swift up was worth the means.